This post, then, will serve as a little bit of history for later in life, when they won’t shut up.

Here’s all of the words the twins can say that we could think of, with the proper pronunciation in toddler dialect in parentheses. (If only one of them has a word, I tried to mark that as well.)

People

• Mama (occasionally “mommy”)
• Daddy
• Eloise (“Ellie” or “Alwee” or “Owie”)
• Julian (“Gi-gee” or “Doo-dee”)
• Grandpa (“Ba-pa”)
• Wapsy (“Wa-pee”)
• Grammy (“Ba-bee”)
• Several friends from school, including Avery (“A-wee”), Hannah (“Na-na”), and Apollo (“Uh-pah”)

Colors

• red (“ya”)
• yellow
• green (“dee”)
• blue
• purple (“puh-puh”)
• pink (“pee”)
• brown [J] (“bwow”)
• black (“bla”)
• white (“wha”)

Body parts

• nose (“no”)
• eye
• ear (“ee”)
• elbow (“ow-boh”)
• toe (“doh”)
• knee
• neck (“neh”)
• back (“ba”)
• leg [J] (“leh”)

Food

• peas (“peeeeeeez”)
• broccoli (“buh-la-buh-lee”)
• apple/applesauce (“a-puh”)
• Mum-Mum
• snack (“na”)
• cheese (“deeee”)
• water (“wa-wa”)
• bar (cereal bar) (“ba”)
• noodles (“noo-noo”)
• cracker (“kuh kuh”)
• pasta [J] (“tas-pah”)
• blueberries (“boo-bwee”)

Miscellaneous nouns

• balloon (“buh-loo” or “boo”)
• baboon (“ba-boo”)
• blocks (“blaaaaaaaaaah”)
• book (“buh”)
• bottle (“ba-ba”)
• bubble (“buh-buh”)
• bowl (“bo”)
• spoon (“suh-boo”)
• tree (“dwee”)
• flower (“fuh-vuh”)
• park (“pah”)
• outside (“ow-ee” [E] or “uh-tzuh” [J])
• window (E) (“wi-woh”)
• bus [E] (“buh”)
• truck [J] (“dwah”)
• moon (“moo”)
• star (J) (“daw”)
• baby
• ball (“baaaa”)
• barn (“ba”)
• iPod (“a-puh”)
• poop (“a-pu”)
• shoe [E] (“doo”)
• giraffe [J] (“doo-wah”)
• beep beep (“bee bee”)
• keys (“dee”)

Animals

• kitty/meow (“diddy”/”mow”)
• bird/tweet tweet (“buh”/”dzee dzee” or “tuh-wee”)
• woof woof (“wuh wuh”)
• quack quack (“kuh kuh”)
• the sound a monkey makes (“oo-oo”)
• neigh
• moo
• baa

Miscellaneous verbs and prepositions

• eat (“ee”)
• walk (“waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”)
• up
• down (“dow”)
• trade [J] (“doo-way”)
• rock (“wa”)
• ride [E] (“waaiiii”)
• sleeping [E] (“pee-pee”)

Miscellaneous miscellany

• yes (“yeah”)
• no (“no no”)
• hi
• bye
• please (“buh-lee” [J], “pee” [E])
• more (“muh”)
• all done (“ah dah”)
• uh-oh!
• oh no!
• me
• whee!
• choo choo (“doo doo”)

It’s worth noting that these are just the words they can say. They understand much, much more, so stay on your toes.

As impressive and fabulous as Eloise is by almost any measure, she has never been an overachiever in the hair department. Yet her mullet was growing completely out of control, even by mullet standards, and we decided that a little trim would, at the very least, not hurt. Her Aunt Rachel and I took her to Kidz Adventure Cuts in Seekonk for the procedure.

At first I almost dared to be pleasantly surprised by how well she was handling it…

…but quickly began to get a sense that my optimism would prove unfounded.

There’s the Eloise I know and love!

(Hmm, looking at this picture I’m thinking we should have double-teamed her with a dentist on the other side.)

In the end they only charged me for the equivalent of a bangs trim, since they only cleaned up the back. (When I brought her in, the “stylist” incredulously burst out, “What are you going to cut, Mom???” I explained that I wanted it tidied up to all one length in the back, she exclaimed with an emotion I would describe as just shy of horror: “But if you do that she’ll look like a BOY!”

Needless to say we went ahead with it, and while the result will not exactly win her a job as the Pantene poster girl, it does look a bit less unruly.

By the way, Julian got his first haircut back in December (and his second on the same day as Eloise’s first). Let’s just say that his handling of the trauma didn’t do anything to make Eloise look bad.

With Eloise confidently doing laps around the downstairs (no, seriously: you’ll hear little footsteps, and there she’ll come around the corner, arms over her head and face split in a grin) it’s definitely time to buckle down and finish baby-proofing the hell out of the place.

Eloise also took her very first ride in the seat of a grocery shopping cart, and Julian learned how to clap his hands. It’s progress, people.

(Attempts to reproduce the feat so far have resulted in one rather annoyed and put-upon baby girl with a sore bottom.)

As per tradition, Eloise has given the Tooth Fairy a dollar, which will be returned to her with interest when this tooth falls out in six years. Baby’s first investment!

Pictures to come eventually, although right now there’s not much to see. Give it a few days and I’m sure you’ll start seeing her new big-girl smiles in the daily photos.

Dammit.

As part of my preparation for my return, I bought some new clothes and succumbed to the “Mommy Chop”:

Sadly, I ripped that brand new shirt on a nail later that day. Argh.

It is very disorienting to be in the office doing things that feel quite familiar and normal while thinking about all the things going on at home that had been my “new normal” for several months. For the most part it feels as though the twins exist in one dimension and my office exists in another, and I warp between them. Matt somehow discovered a portal between the two dimensions and brought Julian and Eloise on a field trip to visit me this afternoon.

I have a whole host of different emotions about being back at at my job: excitement about using my brain in a wider variety of ways; concern for Matt having to spend so much time on his own with the babies (something I still find daunting); and fear of being so overwhelmed with work that I’m not able to find anything approaching that elusive work/life balance nor able to enjoy or do either well. I’m actually quite happy not to be a stay-at-home mom, so regret about that is not among my many emotions, but that’s not to say I don’t miss the babies. This morning Julian was being so cute that he made me late — significantly late — for work. It’s easier to leave when they’re crying. (Well, easier to leave them. Harder to leave poor Matt.)

Anyway, the first few days felt quite surreal, but I’m sure I’ll develop new routines and patterns and will get comfortable with my new working mom identity. At that point perhaps I will no longer spend approximately 40 percent of my day gazing adoringly at the pictures of Julian and Eloise that I have thumb-tacked to my bulletin board.

Hey, for the first time since mid-October, weekends actually mean something again. TGIF, I guess!